South Park: The Stick of Truth [Windows, Xbox 360, PS3]

The coveted stick of truth, whoever controls it has limitless power. This much delayed title is finally out and I've been playing it on PC. Yes I have the unedited version and no, I don't think you'll be missing out on anything exciting if your copy is censored. It's just a couple of disgusting mini-games that in terms of gameplay mechanics are pretty boring. Anyway on to the experience as a whole!

Gameplay is broken into two distinctive parts, roaming the world and turn-based battles. Roaming about the world is mostly about puzzle solving. Using things like your long-ranged weapon, your allies abilities and fart-magic, you unlock the path before you and find hidden treasures. When you encounter enemies as you are roaming about, you can hit them with an arrow to stun them in combat, or, if you get the first hit on them, you get to strike first. Then you enter the turn-based battle screen. The style of fighting is akin to a Mario RPG title, where timing and the mashing of buttons will ensure successful attacks. It's mostly pretty fun and you get to learn a lot of different attacks but by the end it is all a little repetitive.

The storyline is great but if you couldn't see yourself watching three episodes of South Park back-to-back this game isn't for you. The story takes a lot of the classic South Park episodes and mashes them into one big plot with a few new ideas for the game. Whilst this does mean it often treads on old ground there are plenty of hilarious and unexpected moments to keep you going. However, there are some moments where the gameplay/storyline overlaps in strange ways and doesn't really feel cohesive. For example, I had already spoken to the goth kids and learnt that I had to dress like them to hang out with them but as this later becomes a quest, I was forced to hear it all again. Mostly though the next plot twist or silly joke is what really keeps you driving along into this game. I wish as much time was spent on the design elements as they had put into the storyline.

Some poor design choices have stopped this from being the game of the year. When you see a mob of monsters on the screen, you battle them all as one, yet when it comes to picking up loot you have to search each monster. Why not streamline this into one loot bag and make it funner for everyone? There is no way to easily see how your weapons and armour compares to what you are buying. Some of the gameplay mechanics are immensely frustrating to use and the game teaches you these fart mechanics that you don't actually need to use in the game. Throughout the whole game you use the WASD keys to move but all of a sudden you need to use the arrow keys to do dance moves. I can't tell if this is a bug, a joke, or Matt and Trey being arseholes, either way it just comes off as frustrating. Plus half the time you are doing the right thing but just not standing in the right spot which adds to the frustration. Of course seeing as I played it on PC there are plenty of bugs and work-arounds but I guess this is the new normal.

It's a good game with good ideas but not enough time has been spent developing it. You will go through moments of pure joy, laughing at the gags and enjoying most of the gameplay, only to be snagged by poor design choices and bugs. South Park: The Stick of Truth is one for the fans and whilst I had hopes it could transcend that status and be an all round fun title it's gameplay isn't solid enough. There is a huge adventure here but only someone who is a fan of the series, could actually stand to play it for that long 7.9/10.

Creating Music for a phone game.

So a friend and I are currently developing a game for the iPhone and hopefully, if it receives even modest success, Android too. It is going to take a long time for us to finish this project as we are only doing it in our spare time, so I won't go into too much detail just yet. What I want to talk about now is a song I have recently created for it. If you just want to hear the song, scroll down to the bottom.

The Setup

iMac mid 2011
Logic Pro 9.1.8
MOTU 828mkII A/D
Newer Technology miniStack v3 (explained below)

The Instruments
Korg Microkey 25 key USB keyboard
Roland TD 15

The Cables
1x (Extra Long) Firewire 400
1x MIDI
1x USB, type A to type B
1x Firewire 800 (explained below)

The Music Creation Process

It's hard for me to say how I create music, because I don't think I really have a technique per se, it's more that I just blurt something out and then I begin working with the mess I've created. This whole song began because I was testing out a Christmas present, the Korg Microkey. I just wanted to have some fun with it and out came this riff. I used some sneaky short cuts to help me create this song. There is the obvious copy and paste of sections but also copying and pasting sections into different instruments to help me get an idea of the sound. Then I would take out unneeded notes, lengthen them or move them as necessary. Once I had finished using the keyboard and editing notes in the piano roll I moved onto the drumkit.

The Problems

Some of you may notice straight off the bat that the 828mkII uses firewire 400 and the mid 2011 iMac only has firewire 800. So to fix this, I used my powered portable hard-drive/hub, which handled all my connection issues. Next we come to the latency issue. I've never really noticed any latency issues with anything but drums in Logic and of course I wanted to record some drums, via MIDI in this project. I switched on Low Latency Mode in the options, which did nothing. So I Googled and read manuals and tweaked this and that to no avail. Turns out you have to switch the button in the arrange window, the option in settings does nothing. I guess it's a feature.

Mix for Mono

The first thing I noticed about my mix was that it sounded terrible through the tiny iPhone mono speaker. The combination of a stereo mix and the heavy bass sounds of Logics instruments meant I was getting some problems with sound going out of phase. To correct this I changed to a monophonic mix and I tweaked every sound I used. Mainly I needed to take out the bass, pretty heavily but on some sounds I had to cut some high frequency and adjust their volume/compression levels. After nine mixes I was happy to say it was listenable on that tiny iPhone speaker.

Read Before Listening: A Warning

Because Google are not the masters of the internet we thought them to be, mp3s are quite difficult to load into Blogger, so I have uploaded a video instead. I decided to use some footage I had taken with my iPhone at MONA and a gig I went to.

Warning: The video contains strobe lighting that may be dangerous for some viewers. Also it is of such poor quality it is recommended that you close your eyes and simply enjoy the song.

Banished [Windows]

So, you are in charge of a small group of people who have been banished and you need to start your own town. The game plays something akin to Sim City and The Settlers and it's set in the medieval era. This seems like a winning formula so let's check it out.

Depending on which difficulty you select you'll start out with a bunch of goods and some people. The harder the difficulty the less goods and citizens you will have. Then you will have to look around the landscape and start planning out your town. Food and firewood, are important resources to start gathering and they will need to be stockpiled for when the harsh winter rolls in. Surviving the winter is one of the biggest challenges of the game and not being prepared for it can kill your towns inhabitants. The game also has disasters like tornadoes and fires, plus infectious diseases can break out amongst your livestock and crops. So yes, survival is the main aim of the game.

Unfortunately Banished is not without its issues. I did encounter a few bugs, the most annoying of which was my cursor disappearing. I also had the bug that only allows you to install it on C: drive though there is a work around for that here. I also had a known bug that causes the game to crash when you are viewing the paths your citizens use.  They are fairly minor issues and they are being looked into but as the developer is only a very small company, it may take sometime to resolve all this, which is one thing to consider when purchasing. There isn't a huge amount of content in Banished and the late game suffers a little from this. Sure you can collect every last type of seed and livestock but that isn't as rewarding as having something completely new and different to build. However, the developers will be launching a modkit soon which will hopefully alleviate this problem. The only thing is again you are going to have to wait.

I know a lot of people like me were looking forward to the release of Sim City but were bitterly disappointed with the poor decisions made by Maxis and EA on that title. I think a lot of people who felt that way will really enjoy this game because it has so much more charm and even comes in a DRM free version. For those of you who are big fans of this genre it is a must have right now, for everyone else, it is worth waiting and picking up on sale. Once the modding community has got its hands on the modkit, the major issue of lack of content will disappear and judging by it's current success it may even see an expansion or two. This game is like a fine wine, it needs time to reach its full potential but I really think it will make it there 7.9/10.

Titanfall Beta Hands On [Windows, Xbone]

There is a lot of buzz around Titanfall and when I was sent a free beta code to stress test it I couldn't resist. I do love the idea of giant mechs running around blowing each other and everyone up. Titanfall is by Respawn whose main claim to fame, (which the ads won't shut up about) is that it has people who once worked on Call of Duty.

It starts you off in a pretty in-depth training "simulation" where you learn how to run about as a pilot and as a titan. There is a lot to this game and the lengthy tutorial is very much needed. As a pilot you can parkour off walls, double jump, kill other pilots in a variety of ways and you even get an anti-titan weapon as part of your arsenal. Titans can do a swift dodge, fire their main gun, fire their powerful secondary weapon and even put up a shield that catches bullets and fires them back. Plus you can get out of your titan and have it follow you or guard itself. It's a lengthy list of abilities and something that you are going to forget instantly as you jump into your first multiplayer match but it shows the game has a lot of depth.

Running on my computer

I was surprised at how well the game ran on my computer which is starting to show it's age now. I turned everything to low but ran it at my native resolution of 2560x1440 and it still looked beautiful and ran smoothly. I had no issues with servers either, unlike some players, it was quick for me to find a match and get playing. I had a fairly high ping at times but I didn't really notice any major lag issues.

The full beauty according to EA

There are some odd things about this game and I'm not quite sure how I feel about them. Polygon called it the perfect game for people who are terrible at first person shooters and in a way I agree. There are only 6 people in a match but there are also minions that run around and mostly just wait to be blasted, sort of like in a MOBA. They can be fun and even put up a bit of resistance at times but many have complained that they'd rather have more actual live humans playing the game. Respawn have yet to announce how many gameplay modes there will be and currently in the beta there are 3 plus one that randomises all 3 together. As the game is going full multiplayer only, I really think they should add a mode with double the players to keep things interesting. We'll have to wait and see on that though. It's also weird that despite these hugely powerful titans you have at your disposal there, is basically no object destruction in game at all. I guess I have been a little spoiled with the Battlefield series but it seems odd that the world itself is so static.

I've had a lot of fun with beta so far and there are a lot of cool ideas in it. Things like evacuating to a dropship when you've lost the game for some bonus xp and jumping on a titan when you are a pilot and  blowing it's brains out are cool additions but I'm not convinced yet. For a full price game it's really gotta have some exciting modes and whilst I found Attrition and Last Titan Standing fun, the Hardpoint mode seemed a little lacklustre. I say go and give it a bash in the beta if you can but it hasn't made me want to preorder it. I want to wait and see what the full offering has in store.

Oh and if anyone has an Xbone, I have a beta code for it, just message me.

Octodad Dadliest Catch [Mac, Linux, Windows, PS4]

This game is killing me. I was so excited for a full-blown Octodad game but now I just can't play it. I fire it up for a bit and then after a few minutes I want to stop. This makes it nearly impossible to review but I have stuck with it. I am going to make this a short review because I need my sanity.

The controls are fun because they are so wild and a little bit unpredictable but that also makes them so taxing. The most fun I have, is when I get so frustrated that I go on a rampage and do all the wrong things, or the game glitches out a little bit and something whacky happens. Unfortunately, that isn't the aim of the game. I just don't care to complete the games puzzles as they don't feel rewarding at all. The only reward is more awkward puzzles and more frustration. I'm sure there are sadomasochists out there who would love this game but that really isn't my style.

I hate these escalators so much!

Octodad is fun at times but the frustration overtakes the moments of joy. Sure the graphics might be better and there is a bit more polish but when Octodad was a freeware game it was short and to the point, unique even but it lacks any real new ideas since then. Playing this game makes me sad, why would Octodad want to live the life of a human? Everything is so hard for him. I think the best thing to do is put him down 5/10.

That's it, leave me alone, I'm off to shock my genitals or anything more pleasurable than this. Happy Valentines Day!

Broken Age Review [Mac OS, Windows, Linux]

Man that was a short ride but what a ride! Broken Age is a point and click adventure that has been broken into two parts. For the price of $25 US dollars you get Act 1 now and when it's ready Act 2 for free later. Or you could have kickstarted it but that was a long time ago now. It even has a tie in with Australia in that the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra recorded the soundtrack.

Right off the bat you'll notice how beautiful this game is, they have gone for an animated style rather than realistic but it totally suits the theme. Perhaps the most captivating aspect is the animations. The main characters are animated so smoothly that they blend beautifully into the world and there are plenty of whacky on screen antics to keep you amused. The music is incredible, as are the sounds and the voices are supplied by a star studded cast. There is that hobbit guy and the Adventure Time guy and even that women who is in all the games.

 

Gameplay is what you would expect from an adventure game. You talk to people, get items, make the items do silly things and solve logic puzzles. In general I found the logic to be pretty understandable and you were guided enough to know what to do, without it taking away from your sense of discovery. There was one time though, when I tried to combine an item with another item but I did so too early and not in the right screen. This meant I stomped around in frustration not knowing what to do next. Aside from that I found it to be quite flowing if a little short.

You'll want to take your time with this game, get stuck on puzzles and stare at the odd animations as it is all over very quickly. This is only Act 1 though and Act 2 will be free, so it isn't a big deal but that second Act is going to take a long time to come out. To get the first half done it took 2 years but at this point the optimistic view is Act 2 will be out next year. This is disheartening because the game leaves you on such a brilliant cliffhanger. I need to know what happens next and I need to know now god damn it!

That's sort of the thing with Broken Age it was all a bit of a gamble and it still is. I feel pretty invested in the story now and I really want to know what happens next but will it be as good as what I have just witnessed? We'll just have to wait and see. Because of this it makes the game really tough to score. I had a lot of fun with it but it just leaves me wanting more and there is little to no replay value. I think I'll give it an optimistic 8.5/10. It really is a joy to play and I highly recommend it but I'm worried about getting caught in the hype and promise of the next act.

Hello Kitty Tap and Run: Super Cute and on the Run!! Review [Android, iOS]

Let's face it, we all want great Hello Kitty games to exist. Imagine if they made a Hello Kitty game so great, that everyone was playing it, from dude-bros to hobos, it would be amazing. Well… you better sit down.

Hello Kitty is a terrible game, I just don't see the point of any of it. I'm sorry to have built it up but you wouldn't keep reading otherwise. There is just so much wrong with it. Firstly, I hope you like the back of Hello Kitty's head because you're going to see a lot of it during the loading screens. Secondly, the translation is horrible, you are purifying the toys, purifying them!? I want to say so much on that but honestly, I think it's best not to. Thirdly, there are plenty of glitches Finally, the gameplay...

In case the name didn't give it away Hello Kitty Tap and Run is in the endless runner category of games, although it has stages instead of endlessly running. There is nothing wrong with this category but it needs something interesting to keep you hooked, Hello Kitty doesn't really have that. The levels are bland and often right at the end of them nothing happens at all. You can jump and you can attack, occasionally you might fight a boss but there is no skill to it. It's aimed at kids you might say but then why bombard you with all these dialogue boxes and crush kitties to make your ones stronger? Yes, you crush them together to power up your strongest (purest?) kitties. Okay they are meant to be mechanical toys but that fact may be lost on little kids.

There is more to this game than just terrible levels, you can design your room, or spend all your parents hard earned money in the market but there are also many more terrible features I haven't mentioned like graphical glitches and repetitive music. You know maybe I just don't get this game, maybe I'm not a Hello Kitty fan at all but I tried my hardest and now I just want to be left alone to play some violent video games, you know, to purify myself of this game 2/10.

What if I only rescue 95% of her?

Australia Day Warning

Australia day is coming up fast people. If you are sober enough to remember, you might want to check out the deals on the App Store and Google Play. Titles made in Australia will be offered at discounted rates and possibly even for free. Apps to look out for include Epoch and Epoch 2 plus any titles from Half Brick Studios.

Mr. Crab [iOS]

Mr. Crab is a crab themed endless runner, or should that be endless jumper? Here you have to jump your way to the top, jumping on monsters, jumping on bosses and occasionally rolling things along. The game reminds me a lot of the Mario series, particularly Mario Galaxy, as although Mr. Crab is a 2D game, the way the world moves is reminiscent of moving across a planet in Mario Galaxy.

The only control you have in game is to touch the screen to jump. Hold for a long jump, tap for a short one. So you jump from platform to platform, do wall jumps and use walls to send you in the opposite direction. Timing is critical with Mr. Crab and if you don't time things right, you may see yourself plummeting back down to where you came from. You see instead of killing you, enemies send you flying back down levels. The game does stop you from falling too far though with platforms collapsing to block the way back after you have reached them. But this can make the game frustrating as you continuously are knocked back to where you came from with no end game screen or anything to stop your next attempt.

I found that the difficulty peaked and troughed with no rhyme or reason, some early levels were hard, some later levels were quite easy. I didn't mind this too much though, as it just meant I needed to really focus and learn what steps were ahead. The levels aren't too tedious as they are usually quite short, perfect for a mobile game. You also get to fight some interesting bosses along the way, although, again all you are doing is jumping on them until they are defeated but it does add to the variety of the overall experience.

Although it is simple, I think it's worth a play as there is something enchanting about the world. You scuttle along as a silly little crab, unlocking new worlds and crab outfits(!?), it just has this odd charm. Also it's free, though you can buy extra levels for a dollar which seems relatively fairly priced. Oh, I nearly forgot! You pick up baby crabs throughout the level which are so adorable, now, who doesn't want adorable crabs in their pants? Nobody worth knowing. 7.9/10

Hearthstone Beta

Aaaaargh! I have become addicted to this game, help me, it might be worse than this. Seriously though, Hearthstone might only be in beta but it is a great game. It's an online trading card game (TCG) developed by the folks at Blizzard and set in the world of Warcraft (pun not intended). It's free to play and to get into the beta all you need to do is register for it in your Battlenet account.

The game starts you out in a tutorial, which is perhaps a little longwinded and currently unskippable, at least users are reporting errors when they try to. Here you'll learn the basics like hero powers, what cards to play and when. There are 9 different heroes to choose from, each with a unique set of cards and hero power. All hero powers cost 2 mana to play and they really add to making each character distinct. Some examples of hero powers are the Warlock, who loses 2 life and draws a card or the Mage, who gets to deal one damage to any character on the board.

Cards are broken up into 3 types, spells, weapons and minions. Whilst there are cards of all types that are unique to heroes, there is a pool of neutral minions that anyone can select from. Decks are comprised of 30 cards and in Constructed mode you are limited to 2 of the same card. Constructed mode allows you to select cards from your collection, to battle it out in either casual or ranked play. You can also enter Arena mode by paying in-game gold, or real money. In Arena mode you select a hero and then a deck of 30 cards from cards randomly presented to you. There are no restrictions on how many of one card you have in this mode, which can make for some interesting decks. Playing in the Arena gives you rewards such as cards, gold and dust.

Like all TCGs a large part of the addiction factor is collecting the cards. Cards can be crafted by using dust and cards you don't need anymore can be disenchanted into dust, to make the cards you want. You can also buy packs of cards with gold and real money. I think this is a major factor in what got me hooked. There are a lot of cards to collect and creating a new deck with the shiny card you just won can be a lot of fun. And yes there are shiny cards; cards can either be standard or gold and the gold ones are animated and just look cool. The other factor is that you are given a quest everyday, which when you complete gives you gold, plus you can earn 10 gold for every 3 matches that you win. The combination of the addiction to collect and free rewards, has really sucked me in and makes me want to login everyday.

Now, onto the gameplay. It is very similar to Magic the Gathering and those sorts of card games, except it has a much better flow. There is no possibility to play a card on someone else's turn, instead you can play secrets, that are triggered when the other player meets the conditions. For example, the Counterspell secret card that Mages have, will be played on the Mages turn as an undisclosed secret. Then as soon as an opponent plays a spell, it will trigger, countering the spell. This actually speeds up gameplay a lot, as you no longer have to pause constantly and wait for someone to decide if they want to make an action. It is definitely a card game that is designed to be played on a computer and not the other way around. For me the constant flow of the game is what makes it so fun, it even has clever elements such as timed turns that get faster if someone doesn't complete their turn, i.e. goes AFK.

There are numerous glitches in the game as it is only still in the beta stage. Cards will go flying around the screen, there are flickers and odd graphical errors. Sometimes the music will stop, or the sound will appear distant, or distorted. However, the core engine is very solid and these errors rarely get in the way of the gameplay. It's always difficult to judge a game whilst it is still in beta but with the open beta already being pushed back by Blizzard I think they are going to take the time to get this right. Of course Blizzard are notorious for taking a long time with releasing their games, so it will be interesting to see how their first big foray into the world of free-to-play unfolds.

If you are looking for a fast paced action game this is not for you, however, if you want a tactical card game that your are going to end up addicted to look no further. Apply for the closed beta now, or wait for the open beta, which surely is just around the corner. Either way you better start building your card collection now and abandoning friends and family 8.8/10.